Ditch Motherhood Stress with 3 Doable Ways to Go From Frazzled to Unflappable
Apr 28, 20233 Doable Tips for Mothers in honor of Mother’s Day
In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to create a few tips and resources that are both helpful and doable. As we think about celebrating Motherhood and Mothering, it’s important to acknowledge that we are having to do this in a time and place in which society doesn’t fully support your thriving. It’s arguably one of the hardest times to mother, even though we paradoxically have access to so much information.
So how can we feel as resourced as possible, and have healthy expectations of our mothering capacities?
Here are 3 tips that have personally changed my mothering life for the better:
- Do Less
- Self Care
- Plan Ahead
DO LESS
Let Go of Being Super Mom!
A content Mom is better for children. Try to model happiness to your children rather than focusing on getting everything done.
Try to also prioritize your significant relationships, especially with your partner (if you have one) and your close friends. It’s easy to get lost in the endless doing of mothering. Setting aside time to nourish these relationships is also important to your happiness and sense of self.
I also really encourage you to embrace the concept of cyclical living which aligns your life with your menstrual cycle. If this is a brand new notion for you, I’m so excited for you to consider all the ways this worldview can better your life. If you’re pregnant or breastfeeding, and aren’t currently menstruating, you can align your life with the moon phases instead. Below are two of my favorite resources to get you started:
Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Ambitious Women by Kate Northrup
Wild Power: Discover the Magic of Your Menstrual Cycle and Awaken the Feminine Path to Power by Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer
Another thing I’ve learned to do less of is to feel pressured to play with, entertain or over praise my son, which came as a result of reading:
Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff
“Parents: You don’t have to go to kid birthday parties anymore! Or awkwardly straddle playground equipment! Or create chore charts! In her funny, honest, and practical book, Michaeleen Doucleff collects ancient wisdom that can restore sanity to parenting.” –Amanda Ripley, New York Times bestselling author of The Smartest Kids in the World and High Conflict
You can also do less by keeping your expectations reasonable and in check. Some of the ways I've done that is by listening to podcast conversations about motherhood.
Podcasts I love:
Free Birth Society Podcast by Emilee Saldaya
Medicine Stories by Amber Magnolia Hillrecommendations
Sex, Birth, Trauma Podcast by Kimberley Ann Johnson
SELF CARE
Self-care can come in so many forms, but I think the most potent forms of self-care include:
- Rest
- Nourishment & Hydration (eat breakfast!)
- Gratitude
- Contact with nature
- Hobbies you love
- Relationships that fulfill you
Right up there on this list can be movement too!
Did you know that 20m minutes of exercise a day can elevate your mood for 12 hours?
Here are a few movement resources that really understand the physiology of pregnancy and motherhood:
Self care can also mean community and sharing. There are some wonderful on-line moms groups, or you can find an in-person gathering. I highly recommend:
Your Village Birth Classes & Support Groups
Self Care, of course, can also look like:
- Massages & Skincare
- Lying on a Prana Mat 15 min/day
- Going to bed early
PLAN YOUR DAYS
Another notion that has helped me a lot in motherhood, especially with anxiety, is getting a plan in place. This is the rhythm of your day that’s in alignment with your priorities. It can be very structured or very loose, depending on your personality and family needs. Having a blueprint of an ideal day has been particularly helpful on the seriously sleep deprived days when I can barely think.
Meal planning is another huge way to support you and your family in being nourished and feeling your best. One of my favorite resources for meal planning is from one of my very talented past doula clients:
Lindsay Lives Well (She has free meal planning guides on her site)
I hope these tips are both helpful and doable. Motherhood is an honor and challenge and I hope you can find ways to thrive in this demanding and beautiful journey.
Happy Mother’s Day!
With love & gratitude,
Sparrow & The Sparrow’s Nest Team
photo: @yourvillagebirth
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